Thursday, September 9, 2010

I used to be a size five. I could eat an entire bag of Doritos every night and still bounce a penny off my belly.

The weight gain started about four years ago and I just don't know how to deal with it. If I tried to bounce a penny off my belly these days it would disappear for a week and then emerge in the shower, green with mildew and partly disintegrated.

I'm not going to lie, I've still got an ass that won't quit and a rack that makes men stand at attention. It's just that I've also got *shudder* back fat. Hiding back fat is a trick I have yet to master. It's a feat that mystifies me. Short of spending a small fortune on scary looking undergarments, I'm at a loss.


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